We Fear Her Boyfriend Brian Austin Green Is Home Alone Making “Music”
With the Transformers sequel right the corner, it’s been all Megan Fox, all the time. She’s outed herself as a bisexual, but really, who in Hollywood isn’t these days? Being bi is the new black. And she’s trash talked Angelina Jolie. We’re sure Angie stays up late crying on Brad’s shoulder in distress. Frankly, we’re weary of Megan already but then again we’re not men.
Megan gave the pimply adolescent boys at the MTV Movie Awards a thrill with acres of bare skin in a Dolce & Gabanna strapless brocade mini dress. The dress is a shortened version of the one Beyonce wore to last year’s Oscar (which we hated!) but we’re adult-y enough to swallow the adjacent hate and admit it’s kind of cute on her.
And those shoes — Christian Louboutin Differa sandals — are slap your mama sexy. Move those played out YSL’s to the back of the closet; they’re soooo last season. Christian Louboutin’s Differa is getting around H’wood more than Doug Reinhardt! It’s smoking hot in every sense of the word, despite its impracticality (the heels are 140mm, or about five and a half inches), its price tag ($1,495 for the plain black patent ones), and its ability to make the wearer look like a regular at an S&M club.
But Megan’s Chernobyl day-glo orange skin and oddly slicked back hair are an epic fail. Is she a victim of product overload like Robert Pattinson? Are her plastic parts molting? Dear lord, is she trying to tone down the sexy because she (gulp) wants to be taken seriously as an actress? For the love of Restylane. Honey, you’ve got about two, maybe three, years before things begin to sag and some new hottie starts snagging all the trophy parts so just smile, nod and make sure you have a good accountant ’cause you know Brian Austin Green will just spend all your cash those ridiculous hats of his.
Add a sexy edge to your look in these S&M-esque ‘Minnah’ heels from Steve Madden. Being bad never looked so good!
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